Practical and emotional wellbeing support following bereavement

Helping children and young people manage grief and loss

CHUMS offer specialist bereavement support to children and young people from 3½ up until their 26th birthday in Kent and Medway.

Hope Again is a website for young people going through a bereavement, where you can find information, read other people’s experiences, and add your own.

The Kent-based charity Holding on Letting go helps young people (6 – 16) to cope with the death of someone close to them. Workshops available.

Slideaway (Age: 5-19) Area: West Kent offer workshops

Winston’s Wish  Winston’s Wish is a charity that helps children, teenagers and young adults (up to the age of 25) find their feet when their worlds are turned upside down by grief.

Young Minds supporting your child with grief and loss.

The Children and Young People’s Counselling Service are offering up to 12 sessions of bereavement support for children and young people aged 4-19 who are bereaved.  Access via the online portal or  0300 123 5205.

A text service for children, young people and adults needing immediate mental health support.  This can be accessed by texting the word “Kent” to 85258.  This is a 24/7 text service provided by SHOUT and the Crisis Text Line as part of the Kent and Medway Release the Pressure campaign.

Kent Educational Psychology Service (KEPS)

The Crisis Support Service support school/school staff to support children who are dealing with significant events in their life concerning grief or loss.

How can I plan and prepare for any bereaved pupils to return to school?

• Check your Bereavement policy is up to date (see this Small Steps document or Child Bereavement UK for sample policies if your school does not yet have one).
• Download the Small Steps document to share with any staff.
• Make a “bereavement box” so you have resources to hand to support a bereaved pupil (see ideas below).
• Collate resources available e.g. information leaflets for staff, parent/carers, books for staff and workbooks or story books for children.
• Ensure you are aware of any children where bereavement has occurred within the family. Gently seek to find out about the circumstances of the death and what your pupil knows about it. Consider any cultural implications to understanding and supporting the family’s grief (eg. background, religion).
• Consider accessing staff training to help build understanding and confidence.
• Provide supervision for staff who may be experiencing their own anxieties, as well as supporting children, at this time.

What can I say or do to support a newly bereaved pupil?

It can be really helpful for families to know you are thinking of them and can make a big difference to families to know that school genuinely care and are interested in supporting their child.  You could send a card and follow up with a telephone call:

“I am so sad to hear about ……  How are you all managing at the moment?  Is there anything school can do at this stage to support your child? How are you and your child feeling about returning to school?”

You might want to send a small ‘comfort package’ with some items to support the child.  It might include as an example:

• Bubbles to fill the sky with wishes
• Colouring in when you want to be peaceful
• Tissues to catch a tear
• Forget me not seeds to sow in memory
• A teddy bear for when you need a bear hug

What plans do I need to make for a bereaved pupil to return to school? 

• Discuss with the family about the pupil’s return to school letting them know that staff will be made aware of their bereavement.
• Find out whether they would like their child’s peer group to be told in advance. Ask if there is anything that they or their child are concerned about.
• Outline any support the school may be able to offer-remember to check with the pupil what they would like.
• Signpost the family to support organisations.
• For many children, school is a place of normality and routine but right now there are additional challenges in making school feel normal.
• Bereaved children would benefit from being with familiar staff and peers, although with social bubbles being proposed as schools reopen, this may be more difficult to achieve.

 

What support could I set up for a grieving pupil? 

Support can be set up but needs to be adapted to the wishes of the returning pupil.  When so much around a child has changed it can be hard if others set out to control what they should do with their grief.

You might wish to consider having named staff (not just one) on hand to provide support. Remember that your ideal member of staff for such a role (warm, caring and empathetic) may not be the same as the pupil’s.

Prepare to adapt!

Decide on spaces that could be used if a pupil wishes to have some time out of class- both indoors and outdoors within safety parameters.  Agree these with the pupil on return.  Would they like anything available in these places to support them?

Consider a bereavement box (age appropriate) that might include:

• A blank photo frame for decorating (card, foam, wood)
• Puppets to encourage conversation
• Water balloons to fill and burst outside to let go of feelings
• Wooden spoons with wool and fabric offcuts to make two sided feelings faces
• Foam hearts for decorating with ribbon to hang
• Beads to thread to make a coping bracelet with each bead representing a key person for support
• Feathers and voile bags with feathers representing memories
• Mindful colouring activities
• Jar, salt, chalk etc for a memory jar

 

What external support will be available to bereaved pupils and their families?

Most children with good support from their family, friends and school will adjust and manage their grief.  Many children, along with their families will benefit from accessing group support within their school and/or from bereavement organisations (see below).

A few may have more difficulties with their grieving journey because of challenges within the home environment, the traumatic nature of the death and factors that make it difficult for the child to make sense of the death. These children may require more specialist therapeutic support on top of that provided by the school.